Hey Lovelies,
It's April!
That means it's time to talk about Autism.
I get asked what was it like growing up Autistic, but never what it's like to be an Autistic adult.
Either way, I don't really know how to answer that question if I'm being honest.
As I have stated before, I was never treated as Autistic, so I didn't know much about Autism.
I was lucky enough to be diagnosed early, but was never talked to, looked at, or treated as Autistic.
Not even in school, I struggled a bit but was offered no extra help outside of some tutoring. I wasn't truly made aware of my Autism until adulthood.
Today, I continue to struggle with making and keeping relationships. I am empathetic which seems rare for people with Autism (I have what is known as affective empathy*). I am not really good at reading others, setting or understanding boundaries, and often can't understand others' way of thinking.
I take things quite literal and oftentimes need a direct explanation, I don't understand "reading between the lines". This has gotten me in some trouble throughout the years. I can come across as very direct, blunt, or factual. This has led to a lot of misunderstandings.
Despite being "oblivious" to the inner workings of relationships, having a "flawed" way of thinking, and struggling with socializing, I've managed life without most people realizing I'm neurodivergent*.
My ability to mask* must be on point! People don't believe I'm on the spectrum.
I didn't know my habits were Autistic traits. Or that neurotypical* people didn't do them regularly.
I repeat the same songs, eat the same type of meals, watch the same movies and shows, and randomly break out into happy dances when eating good food, or doing things I like. Also, I repeat sentences, words, and sounds that I like, I just learned that is called Echolalia. It is a way that I like to stim auditorily.
It would seem I'm "weird" because I'm repetitive.
I stick to routines and repetition because I don't like change (especially if I'm not the one initiating the change.)
I'm writing about this because I want to continue to spread awareness. I make posts and videos on social media, to spread awareness about things people don't usually encounter.
I want people to realize I am what Autism looks like.
There is no specific "look" for Autism as it is a spectrum and it won't look the same for everyone.
I've learned a lot from others' experiences, mannerisms, and hardships (that are similar to mine) on social media. There aren't a lot of resources for Autistic adults and those who are late-diagnosed. So, I want to continue to help educate and help them think outside the societal norms. Help them learn to recognize all types of disabilities (seen and invisible) in a healthy, constructive way.
(Please do research on any organization you want to support or donate to, some are harmful to the community!)
Definitions:
*Affective Empathy= Based on instincts and involuntary responses to the emotions of others, it is the ability to share the feelings of others without any direct emotional stimulation to oneself.
*Neurodivergent=Differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal, frequently used within reference to Autism spectrum disorders.
*Masking= Is the suppression of one's true self by neurodivergent people. It is known by many names, camouflaging, compensating, and adaptive morphing.
*Neurotypical= This Is a neologism widely used in the Autistic community as a label for non Autistic people, and other times is used to refer to anyone who does not have any developmental disorders such as autism, developmental coordination disorder, or ADHD.
[Picture credit: Enabling Devices]
_Stay Lovely_