November

Hello Lovelies,

It's November.

This is a particularly challenging month for me. I often feel a mix of emotions, which can be both sad and confusing.

"Like what?" you may ask.

Well, November is the month when friends and family all gather together to celebrate being grateful and being with one another. I, on the other hand, am alone.

Also, this is my cancer survivor month.

I have had a lot of health issues since birth, but cancer is a whole different beast.

Melanoma is what they found in 2016. The kicker? I had already had cancer for four years then.

It first reared its ugly head in 2012. No one took my concerns seriously.

So, I was continuously given wrong information and misdiagnosed.

Sadly, this is how my care has continued since.

Everything took off very fast once cancer was confirmed.

They biopsied and biopsied multiple samples, confirmed, and then amputated pretty quickly.

Once amputated, the doctors discovered that the cancer had spread to the bone and that the bone was completely black!

Thankfully, it was a very slow-moving cancer and didn't spread to other parts of my body.

Most people don't even notice that I am missing the top part of my right pinky finger; I guess they wouldn't.

But I notice. Every time I paint my nails, every time I go to hold something, or type, or write.

It is a constant reminder of what I go through. Surprisingly, my health did not improve after cancer.

Actually, the opposite! I have been on a steady decline since then.

Still stumping doctors. Still don't have answers as to why I am getting worse and not better.

I have a laundry list of life-shortening illnesses, and a failure to thrive at only 111lbs, but I am still here and still bringing joy to others, even if I don't always feel that same joy or don't have the same support I give others.

I may not understand why I have been put on this path, I may continue to have conflicting feelings about my life, but I will continue to fight and spread awareness to others.

It's my duty, and my pleasure, from one survivor to the next.

_Stay Lovely _