What is it to be Vulnerable?!

Hello Lovelies,

I know it's been a while since I have put fingers to keys.

I do love writing really, and sharing my experiences.

Life has been life-ing, and I've been feeling unmotivated lately, between the current political climate and my health struggles, my brain has been in shambles.

Sigh, but I digress, here I am back again, and I have been feeling like all my efforts are for not.

I won't lie, with that being said, here I am, putting myself out there again...VULNERABILITY.

Vulnerability is a hard thing for most of us to talk about, let alone be.

To be vulnerable is to let down walls and let people in... To address our traumas head-on, face-to-face.

A lot of us can't handle that just yet, so everything gets internalized because we don't know how to just be.

Just be soft, to be trusting, just be ourselves.

I especially struggle with opening up and trusting people because of how I've been conditioned.

I am always forced into this little perfect box, to fit the perfect image of who people think I am or who I'm supposed to be for them.

I often get told to fix my face, and fix my tone, why am I yelling? Etc Etc, I am Autistic!

I often can't control those things, and people are so uneducated about it, especially for black women.

So, I often get told I am too aggressive or get the usual stereotypes placed on me, when it's usually not even that deep.

It's confusing to navigate a world that sees me this way or labels me as an "angry black girl" for standing up for myself and demanding better. Then I'm a BITCH. How can I open up when this is what happens?

The world shits on the vulnerable and sensitive, like how dare we have feelings and emotions!

Everyone has a past, trauma, a story to tell, and yet when we take to sharing our stories, our hurt, our pain, we are met with indifference or hate. We are supposed to be there to support each other and listen to each other's stories. Although it seems that society thinks that ignoring others, being self-centered, and judgmental, is easier than giving a damn.

In a world that is manufactured to disvalue people like me, berate, belittle, and hate us just for existing.

How can we be free to open up, to be trusting, and show the "others" that softness, that grace?

Where do we start?

In this current day we need to support each other every single day! We need to become closer and take care of each other. Those in charge of our very way of life are endangering us!

I don't have the answers, but I do have a heart that is very loving to anyone who needs it.

An open mind to anyone who needs some understanding.

So, I will continue being vulnerable and spreading awareness, and talk about my experiences, and mistreatments that happen to people like me even if no one reads it, I know that I have tried and that I am doing my best to do my part.

I actively try to push my boundaries of comfortability as much as possible talking about parts of my self and making videos, I keep trying to find my audience and have discovered that social media is trying to silence me. Honestly, I'm not surprised because most don't understand the intersectionality and complexities of people like me.

Our struggles are often overlooked, our voices hushed, and our basic human rights are ignored because we are looked at as less than. WE ARE NOT! The parts of me I wish to share, the truths I wish to talk about make others uncomfortable, so I am the one to get punished.

I may not know what to do, how or when to do it, but I'm here showing the long ugly journey ahead.

The fight that fuels so many others, and ask that you become vulnerable with yourselves so that you can have compassion for others!

I promise you are not alone. It takes time, but this too shall pass!

Let's do it together!

_Stay Lovely_