Hey, Lovelies!
What would you do if you were told you had a life-shortening illness, let alone multiple?
I really would like to know. What would your thought process be? What would be the first thing you would think of? What would you do as the isolation sets in?
I ask because this is my very scenario.
I have multiple " Life-shortening chronic illnesses" and am on tube feeds. Did you know that being tube-fed is considered a type of life support?
So yeah, at just 35, I have multiple hard-to-treat illnesses that are life-shortening, and as of yesterday was told I may never reach remission.
I've been dealing with all of this since age 24!
And before you tell me not to claim or believe it, I do believe it but I am going to do what I can to change the outcome.
I have cried enough I feel, although I do have my days.
I don't remember what my 1st thought was when I first got sick. But I remember the feeling of dread washing over me. I just know that I am trying to get in shape and clean up my diet the best I can as someone who is disabled with multiple food allergies and is tube-fed.
I am trying to give myself grace, but it is very hard at times.
The isolation I think is the worst part. The Drs not knowing how to treat me feels pretty bad too, especially being told no matter what I do I may never reach remission or have stability in health.
Being alone and handling things solo is pretty hard on the psyche if I do say so myself.
I often feel I don't have anyone to talk to about these things, nor would I know how or where to start.
Yes, I am currently back in therapy, but I hate talking about myself or when things are going wrong.
Maybe because on the off chance I do want to talk about things I get told I am complaining or not to worry about it because, in the end, I will be fine.
I guess this is why I write, to try to escape these feelings, if only momentarily.
Putting words to paper I can validate my own feelings, as I wish those around me would.
Also to educate and bring awareness to things, most people don't think about or aren't aware of.
I don't really have a set plan for what I am doing, but I am trying my best.
Depression is a big shadow in my life but I work through it one day at a time, being alone and being sick isn't for the faint-hearted.
I just have to remember to just keep swimming!
Thank you for taking the time to support me!
_Stay Lovely_