What would you do?

Hey, Lovelies!

What would you do if you were told you had a life-shortening illness, let alone multiple?

I really would like to know. What would your thought process be? What would be the first thing you would think of? What would you do as the isolation sets in?

I ask because this is my very scenario.

I have multiple " Life-shortening chronic illnesses" and am on tube feeds. Did you know that being tube-fed is considered a type of life support?

So yeah, at just 35, I have multiple hard-to-treat illnesses that are life-shortening, and as of yesterday was told I may never reach remission.

I've been dealing with all of this since age 24!

And before you tell me not to claim or believe it, I do believe it but I am going to do what I can to change the outcome.

I have cried enough I feel, although I do have my days.

I don't remember what my 1st thought was when I first got sick. But I remember the feeling of dread washing over me. I just know that I am trying to get in shape and clean up my diet the best I can as someone who is disabled with multiple food allergies and is tube-fed.

I am trying to give myself grace, but it is very hard at times.

The isolation I think is the worst part. The Drs not knowing how to treat me feels pretty bad too, especially being told no matter what I do I may never reach remission or have stability in health.

Being alone and handling things solo is pretty hard on the psyche if I do say so myself.

I often feel I don't have anyone to talk to about these things, nor would I know how or where to start.

Yes, I am currently back in therapy, but I hate talking about myself or when things are going wrong.

Maybe because on the off chance I do want to talk about things I get told I am complaining or not to worry about it because, in the end, I will be fine.

I guess this is why I write, to try to escape these feelings, if only momentarily.

Putting words to paper I can validate my own feelings, as I wish those around me would.

Also to educate and bring awareness to things, most people don't think about or aren't aware of.

I don't really have a set plan for what I am doing, but I am trying my best.

Depression is a big shadow in my life but I work through it one day at a time, being alone and being sick isn't for the faint-hearted.

I just have to remember to just keep swimming!

Thank you for taking the time to support me!

_Stay Lovely_